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Ivan Lian Jie Sheng
Singapore
A peaceful corner in Tampines
deceight 081289


archdevil89@hotmail.com

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My Darling Cheryl Theo
THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT
Sports, read, soccer
Nice tan
The Sun when its needed.
Money
If I like you, its your company.
The carrying out of a process called Slacking.
Nice music
Freedom to do anything i want
5 Aspiration. You guys made secondary school life memorable.

BUT THIS ISN'T
Rainy days when it shouldn't.
Being depressed.
Being lied to.
When I think too much.
left with no money.
my com when it lags.


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My Own Ramblings In Songs

Andre
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Caiyun
Chris
Elizabeth
Fadzli
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Lindy
Lee Cheng
Leonard
Madeline
Michelle
Pang Chuen
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Peng Soon
Pris
Rachel Yeo
Rachel Tan
Rachel Tan's other blog
Rashida
Ramesh
Sarah
Skye
Sheryl
Shuqi
Shuyan
Suzette
V Tay

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Find lyrics here! But muz sign up 1st
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  • eXTReMe Tracker

    Sunday, June 29, 2008, 10:19 PM
    Don't Lie

    Say anything, but don't lie.
    Show anything that you're feeling, but don't fake what you don't feel.

    Scottish people play rough.

    Played a game for sgx today and we played against RHB or something like that, their company name, and boy were they rough. But it was kinda fun considering the fact that I could go in rough with anyone and they wouldn't mind. Its all part of the beautiful game.

    And I made someone bleed. Opps.

    But like what mah likes to say, just give only!

    They were a good side to play but their keeper let them down. We won the game 2 - 1 in the end albeit with bruises on both ends. *happy dance*

    I don't know what to think anymore.
    shoot me in the brain, but its useless.

    There's school tomorrow. And sadly. Its the last lesson till 2 years later. Unless I take my degree part time. Umma suggested that which I think would save me alot of time. hmm..

    I plan to wake up early tomorrow! Early for the last 2 lessons from jeffrey. Early for the last 2 lessons for the year. Sigh.

    Thinking of watching the euro final too. HMMMM. But I'm dead tired from soccer. Argh. decisions decisions decisions.

    Sometimes i feel it, sometimes i don't.

    Is this the calm before the storm?

    Oh. My mum was planning a trip overseas just before I enlist. wonder if cmpb would let me leave the country though.. hope they do! cause we're planning a trip to new zealand! anybody wanna tag along? it'll be alright cause you'll be paying your own expenses. =x

    I suddenly miss camps. Council camps. where we stay over and just slack the night away. lying under the stars, just stonning. where everyone has fun. sadly there ain't any camps to look forward too anymore. oh wells. random.




    3:50 AM
    Points Of Authority



    Forfeit the game
    Before somebody else
    Takes you out of the frame
    Puts your name to shame
    Cover up your face
    You can't run the race
    The pace is too fast
    You just won't last

    You love the way I look at you
    While taking pleasure in the awful things you put me through
    You take away if I give in
    My life
    My pride is broken

    [Chorus]
    You like to think you're never wrong
    (You live what you've learned)
    You have to act like you're someone
    (You live what you've learned)
    You want someone to hurt like you
    (You live what you've learned)
    You want to share what you have been through
    (You live what you've learned)

    You love the things I say I'll do
    The way I hurt myself again just to get back at you
    You take away when I give in
    My life
    My pride is broken

    [Chorus]

    Forfeit the game
    Before somebody else
    Takes you out of the frame
    Puts your name to shame
    Cover up your face
    You can't run the race
    The pace is too fast
    You just won't last

    [Chorus]

    [Chorus:]
    You like to think you're never wrong – Forfeit the game
    (You live what you've learned)
    You have to act like you're someone – Forfeit the game
    (You live what you've learned)
    You want someone to hurt like you – Forfeit the game
    (You live what you've learned)
    You want to share what you have been through
    (You live what you've learned)




    2:17 AM
    THE HUNT FOR THE 24/7 ICE CREAM

    THE HUNT FOR THE 24/7 ICE CREAM

    One family. (one crazy one)
    Middle of the night.
    A car ride.
    Toilet break.
    Airport.
    Ice cream.
    End of journey.

    Lazy saturday was my day today. woke up at 2 plus, chatted with her online for a while till 4? and i went back to sleep again till 6. Its to make up for my lost sleep last week with all the project presentations going on. the lecturers both said no one would fail. *wink*

    I had to attend my sgx united team mate's wedding which starts at 7.30 but chee boon, the captain, said 7.30 was the cocktail gimmick for guests to arrive early. So he planned to reach there by 8 plus. He's the driver, i'll just have to follow his timing.

    Fast forward. we're off to suntec's conventional hall where the wedding was held. A small quaint little chinese restaurant on the 3rd floor. And we were on time as guests were still arriving. taking a seat at the table meant for the sgx united teammates, we waited for everything to begin.

    Fast forward. After the last dish, one by one everyone started leaving and we were off too. Back to chee boon's place we go.

    My parents came and pick me up from his house as they were on their way to fetch the girls. From katong we headed back to tamp mrt.

    Cheryl was waiting for us when we arrived and rach was no where in sight. After a while, the thought of ice cream floated into mind. And i suggested it to my parents. My dad was game. my mum said there wasn't any place that was open other than mac. Suggestion thrown out of the window.

    After 1/2hr or so, rach finally arrived and i suggested ice cream again. she was game too. 3 against 2 (cheryl didn't want). ice cream, here we come!!

    My dad said that hotel cafes should be open 24hrs and that they sell ice cream, so from tamp, we headed for the hotel in katong, opposite parkway parade.

    Alas, the cafe didn't sell ice cream and wasn't even open. However, my dad made use of the toilet there so it somewhat wasn't a wasted go in and out of the hotel trip. We then almost walked to the hotel next door but my dad had a feeling they didn't have either.

    My mum then called some telephone service to esquire if there was any place selling ice cream other than mac and guess what, they only operate 7 to 11 daily. even they were closed. joke of the day.

    Not giving up, she called for the swensens number at orchard and after conversing for a while, there was this statement that stood out

    mum: you really can't book a table of 5 for us? so what time do you close then?
    -reply-
    mum: no, we won't be there till 3.

    It was quite funny at that time. Or maybe we were laughing at everything too much till that was deemed funny too. *ponders* heck. its an inside joke. Fam outings can be full of laughs sometimes.

    And we found out that the outlets at holland v and changi airport's t2 were 24/7! so back to the end of the island we go.

    We finally found ourselves staring at the menu at the airport's swensens. After a trip from katong to tamp and back to katong area, to the airport which is near tamp. We were finally going to have our ice cream.

    *sniggers*

    Ok. I realised that i've been ignoring blogging since monday. my bad.

    To sum up, both project presentations are done and dusted. thats a relief. On friday, jeffrey really had a good swipe at nick's project that he presented the day before and criticized every single little aspect of it.

    "North south east west who's the best, jeffrey jeffrey is the best"

    He kept doing this after nick mentioned a point about monopolizing the market the north south east west way. Friday was a day where one could really die from laughter and appear on the straits times front page.

    STUDENT DIES OF LAUGHTER AFTER LECTURER MAKES FUN OF PRESENTATION

    That was the day where I found out that jeffery really didn't like nick as well. what a surprise.

    Had barbecue that night itself at my gramps place. Out of the blue, super random. My auntie says its to lure us to come more often.

    Oh ya. She finally came over to my house on wednesday! she wanted to study but we couldn't think of a quiet and nice place to study, so i suggested my place. since i've been to hers and all and she hasn't been to mine. but she was kinda reluctant. sigh. I don't like to force things out of people but i really wanted her to meet the fam. to be more involved in my life. it takes time, this i understand. she met rach and cheryl though.. and cheryl went into her crazy self. screaming and shouting and running about. stupid overly enthu dodoo. wuahahaha.

    Sometimes, its just so hard.




    Try to understand, i have flaws and sometimes i'm even sad, so don't be blinded.
    Sometimes, i'm not entirely to blame, you have some part to play as well.
    Don't think that you're always right, sometimes you aren't. I give in to you every time.
    When i get angry with you, you just need to say sorry and everything will be fine. when you get angry with me, thats a whole different story altogether, you expect much much much more.
    When you show me attitude, i'll show you mine.
    sometimes i feel as if i'm being treated like junk. even though you say i'm important to you, maybe me not being in your life won't matter that much. i hope i'm so wrong.
    I don't know whats going on lately. I don't like it. I hope we'll be ok again.
    you can choose the easy way by leaving or we could strive to make this work. the choice is yours.




    Monday, June 23, 2008, 10:16 PM
    Sigh Of Relief

    *Heaves a sigh of relief*

    PHEWWWWWW.. FINALLY! Omar's Media Technology and Development project is finally done. Completed. Kah poof. No more is needed to be done. A huge load off my chest.

    Last night, min, fandi, nick and I were rushing to get the project done on time and in the end, I only managed half an hour's worth of sleep (or maybe lesser) just before presentation. Picture my zombie face.

    Thats what you get with last minute work and only have ourselves to blame but its finally over!

    It also means the end of conversing with nick.

    *Another sigh of relief*

    a ride of emotions




    Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 7:17 PM
    Surprise Surprise!

    Min didn't come school again today cause of some physiotherapy thingy. And project is due soon. He better come tomorrow late or late. He's never early see. =P

    I gave her a surprise by appearing at her house with something that I bought and KFC after school!

    Finally got to see her after 4 days! weeeeeeee..

    She actually had a 5 day no see rule last week but we kinda broke that rule after 2 days. heh heh heh.. but somehow, without realising it, we were facing the prospect of having an unintended rule if I didn't see her today. Cause it would be 5 days since I saw her see.

    After school, I went to buy kfc and another thing before heading for her place to surprise her.

    I didn't want to press the door bell so I made her dog bark but she didn't come to the door to open! damn. failed attempt. I pressed the door bell in the end. hahaha..

    She got a shock ( I think she did) when she saw me cause she thought i was somewhere else. HEHEE..

    Shan't go on. maybe continue tomorrow or something. leaving to meet her now! at 1am. wuahahaha..




    Monday, June 16, 2008, 10:45 PM
    Projects Are Meant To Be Shot

    PROJECTS ARE A KILLA.

    Anyone who agrees with me, raise your hands.

    Due dates, DEADlines. omg. its all coming quick and fast. Divine intervention is needed please.

    Went shopping with mahdi again today.. My shopping buddy. My everything buddy. He gives me honest feedback on the clothes I think that is nice and vice versa. Hmm.. come to think about it, he always give me honest feedback regardless of anything. I can be completely honest with him and he would take it in his stride and give what he really thinks and feels instead of just agreeing with me. Thats what best friends are for aren't they. (:

    Adam's another joker. Supposed to meet us today but went out with his friend instead. Stupid cock.

    Friends are easy to come by.
    Good friends are rare.
    Best friends are priceless.

    Met him at Bugis at 12.30 and that cock had his phone switched off the whole while before that. I thought his phone got stolen or something. I wondered if the trip was still on. But at 12.30, he called me. Sigh of relief.

    We headed to queensway first and spent quite a while there. Didn't really check out the place last time and gosh was it filled with nice tops and bottoms. Bought 4. One shirt, one chill sweater and 2 t shirts. =x

    He bought a t shirt and some weird pants. I don't know how to buy pants see.

    Walked around somemore and finally left the place at 4 plus for orchard.

    Taking 14, we reached orchard and headed straight for ngee ann city's g2000. Mah wanted to get polo ts from there. And that blur fella lead me up to the first floor and back down 2 floors cause he thought g2000 was on the first floor. dumbass.

    After scouting around for more nice tops, we headed for mac as I was hungry. Mah wanted to save money so he didn't accompany me eating. Don't it feel weird if you're eating and the company you have isn't. Just looking at you eating. I think its weird.

    Next, we walked about and I bought something for my baby. Hope she likes it! Its been 4 days since I last saw her and I miss her like crazy already. ):

    Whatever it is. I still don't like tomorrow.




    9:30 PM

    I ain't looking forward to tomorrow.




    Saturday, June 14, 2008, 8:31 PM
    4 Months

    14.06.08

    This date marks the 4th month and counting times infinity together.
    You might think, 4 months back... isn't it Vday?!
    Right you are.

    The reason is simple. I wanted her to be mine and I tried asking her a few times but was unsuccessful. However, we went out on Vday and *secret shared between me and her*. (:
    Then on, I took it that she accepted me on that day and she kinda agreed with me cause she
    herself can't remember when she took me as hers.

    Our relationship has its fair share of ups and downs like any other normal relationship.
    From that, I have learnt to cherish and appreciate her more, understand her difficulties and be there for her.

    Something I drew on my hand to cheer her up during work when I couldn't be there when she was sad.

    Had an argument with her last night cause I didn't want to share today with her friend. She wanted 50/50. And I had to choose morning or afternoon. She didn't realize that it was a special day till the next. And I didn't know she had planned something long ago with her friend today too. Sigh. Thought we could go get our superman t shirts that she suggested getting. Nevermind. It can be bought some other day. (:

    I love her.
    Now and forever.
    This I say from the bottom of my heart.
    She's my darling.
    (:




    8:24 PM
    Redirected

    I redirected

    http://www.ivanlian.com

    to this blog! so there's a short cut for you guys out there who are lazy to type out the whole address. Try it out! (;




    7:35 PM
    Different.

    I was looking at lucky.

    And I suddenly thought, why can't he be like this, why can't he be like that. Why can't he do the things I want him to do. Why can't he be cuter, why can't he not be so lazy.

    But then it came to me that he's just the way he is. That makes him lucky. I don't intended to change any part of him. If not, that wouldn't make him the lucky I know.

    Now he's lying flat on the floor, stretched out and sleeping so soundly. Do I really want him to be noisy and jump about like a small kid? the answer is simple. its a flat no.

    Lucky lucky lucky.

    Ever since you came into our lives, the house became a little bit noisier should the humans be devoid of noise with your running around and growling at your toy. you bring joy to our lives. you bring companionship.

    Sometimes you don't know how to console when someone is feeling down. you just do your own stuffs or sleep. Or walk away. Thats what you like to do. But what can I say. different dog, different personalities.

    I forgot what my previous dog likes to do cause we had him when we were very young but I don't care cause lucky's a different dog altogether. I can't expect the same things coming out from him.

    Lucky's Lucky.

    I love lucky.




    7:34 PM

    What a mood spoiler.

    Rain admist the sunshine.




    1:53 PM
    Morning Digest

    I was finding a document when I came across something that was very interesting.

    In our last year of secondary school, we had to do morning digest, to present something to the school after assembly.

    I paired up with tong ann to come up with something.

    And we did on optimism and pessimism.

    ->Morning Digest

    Ivan: The optimist sees a rose and not its thorns; the pessimist however stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose.

    Tong: A very good morning to everyone. My name is Tong Ann, he is Ivan and we are from 5A.

    Ivan: Today we’re here to shed some light on the concepts of optimism and pessimism. The Oxford dictionary defines 'optimism' as hopefulness and confidence about the future or success of something.

    Tong: On the other hand, pessimism describes a general belief that things are

    Ivan: bad,

    Tong: and tend to become

    Ivan: worse;

    Tong: that evil will eventually triumph over good; it contrasts with optimism totally. Also, pessimism describes a tendency to believe that life has a negative value, or that this world is as bad as it could possibly be.

    Ivan: Optimists generally believe that people and events are inherently good. They have a positive outlook on life, believing that things will work out in the end.

    Tong: However, some scholars believe that although optimism and pessimism might seem like opposites, in psychological terms they do not function in this way.

    Ivan: Having more of one does not mean you have less of the other. The factors that reduce one do not necessarily increase the other. On many occasions in life we need both in equal supply.

    Tong: So how do optimism and pessimism affect us?

    Ivan: Optimism breathes life into you each day.

    Tong: Pessimism drains you.

    Ivan: Optimism helps you to take needed risks.

    Tong: Pessimism plays it safe and never accomplishes much.

    Ivan: Optimism improves those around you.

    Tong: Pessimism drags them down.

    Ivan: Optimism inspires people to great heights.

    Tong: Pessimism deflates people to new lows.

    Ivan: Ok. Let us show you an example. From now on i'm Le Guan and he is Bei Guan.

    Tong: Well... we are a pair of not-so-identical identical twins.

    Ivan: What is happening now is at a bus stop near our home which is far far away
    from our school.

    Tong: GOSH! We've missed the bus! Great... I'm gonna be late for school for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE!

    Ivan: Relax man. There's always another bus and maybe it wouldn't be so packed. Perhaps this bus driver would be faster.

    Tong: Right... What if the bus doesn't come and I only trust the previous bus driver. What if this bus suddenly breaks down...

    Ivan: Aiyoh.. you don't think so much can..

    Tong: (Looks up at the sky) wa... if the bus breaks down... that means im gonna be late for school... then if i'm late... i would have to face the descipline master. MR SARA!! NO! CANNOT CANNOT!!!

    Ivan: Dont worry. He will understand. Don't be so pessimistic. Always look on the bright side of life..

    Ivan: In the end, Le Guan and Bei Guan were not late for school.

    Tong: This example shows that an optimist like Le Guan looks on the positive side of life Whereas Bei Guan who is a pessimist has alot of pessimistic thoughts and tend to look at things negatively.

    Ivan: In conclusion, what we want you to do is to look at both sides of the coin. Hope can become a force for social change when it combines optimism
    and pessimism in healthy proportions.

    Tong: We need to be well prepared and also have a contingency plan just in case things don't go smoothly. One last quote before we end our speech, an optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.

    Ivan: Well, we have come to the end of our speech.

    Tong: Yup! Thats all we have for you today.

    Ivan:(Walks away) And remember " Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life....." (Sings)

    Tong: Have an optimistic day ahead! Thank You.

    <--

    It was quite cool going up there and talk. At the same time feeling that particular feeling called stage fright. At the end of everything, our legs were wobbly and quite out of feeling.

    But it was fun.

    This is random.




    4:05 AM
    Shit Happens


    I'm disgusted with myself.

    Utterly disgusted.

    Flabbergasted.

    Lost for words.

    Can I break my promise i made to her. I need to whack something.

    A wall sounds nice.

    No.

    I don't break promises.

    Sigh.

    Its hard to set things right. Even when its like trying to push a brick wall.

    But I'm not giving up.

    No i'm not.

    And its 4.14 in the morning.

    My dad says there's someone coming to do the wall in my room later on in the morning.

    Its time to sleep.

    There's project to be done.

    This is CRAP.

    Why on earth did I make myself free tomorrow.

    Why can't I force myself to stay at home and do those freaking projects.

    This is killing me.

    Someone kill me first.

    Quick.

    Stab me with anything you can find.

    Or alternatively, give me solutions.

    I'm gonna change. This I swear.

    The new and improved me.

    Cause I learned quite a few things today.

    Through some ways that I didn't like. Some ways that are unethical. Some ways that are just plain random.

    I have a short term goal.

    But I'm not gonna tell you.

    No I'm not.

    Not until that day has passed shall I reveal what it was.

    Cause I shall make it the most memorable day ever.

    This I promise myself.

    I ain't making any sense am I.

    If I don't to you, its ok. Cause I don't want to make sense.

    I love making dollars.

    I need a job.

    A real paying job.

    So I can spend freely.

    Buy anything I want.

    Buy anything she wants.

    I love it when she's happy, it makes me happy too.

    I love it when she hugs me. Randomly, or not.

    I love it when she tells me she loves me.

    I just love it when she talks to me.

    I love it when she gives me a peck anywhere randomly, or not.

    I love it when she holds my hand. Anywhere, everywhere.

    I love it when she tells me things.

    A simple smile from her can make my day.

    A simple sms tells me that she's thinking of me.

    A simple mms tells me she wants to show me things.

    I'm typing out all my frustrations and rants.

    Its 4.32am since just now.

    I don't think I'll sleep yet though.

    Shall type more later. If I feel like it.

    If not this post would end here.

    4.37am- I should be feeling sleepy but I don't feel like sleeping.

    4.42am- Still haven't start on project. wth am I doing.

    Oh ya.

    I forgot to put it here.

    Was brushing my teeth just now when suddenly I heard buzzing outside the toilet door. Didn't close it see. It proved to be a mistake. Cause no sooner did I think that the beetle wouldn't fly in that it did. It must have read my mind. And it attacked me. It flew and hit my head and zooomed around like nobody's business.

    This is bad.

    So I tried to hose it down with the spray. Failed.

    And it flew into the sink. Taking a glance at the tap, I quickly turned it on. I wanted it outta toilet. Or anywhere except flying around. But it was drowning.

    A decision had to be made.

    To spare its life, or let it die.

    Life.

    As fragile as it is.

    Its so easy to die.

    Its hard to live.

    There it was, struggling for its life in the miserable sink of mine. What a pitiful way to die right.

    I switched off the tap.

    And hope that it would fly away.

    It didn't.

    It was struggling. But there it was not being able to fly and attack me. So I took a piece of tissue and grabbed it, throwing it outta window. Fly beetle fly. I swear I could hear the buzzing sound again.

    End of beetle story. 4.52am.

    4.57am- My first real tired telling-me-I-need-to-sleep-yawn.

    5.02am- I miss her. I want her to wake up and talk to me. Disturb me, and whatever. Maybe I should head for bed. Than i'll dream of her (hopefully) hmmmm..

    Let me tell you another bedtime story.

    Its about a dream I had last night.

    Strolling in a park by myself, I walked along paths, past chalets, past bbq pits. I think its Pasir Ris park. Not sure cause my dream cam didn't focus on the signboard.

    Than I looked over to the sea where I saw a huge cloud looming over the ships on the water and it started to get real dark. Really really dark. The wind started blowing from no where, everywhere. It was getting harder to walk every second. I was taking a step forward and two steps backwards there and then.

    Lightning streaked across the sky, threatening to strike anything it lays its bright eyes on. The trees behind me were the first targets where branches after branches were struck by it, causing fire to spring out and the sound of wood cracking.

    I was trying to out run the falling branches as the lightning came nearer and nearer to my position but I was stuck. I tried to run, I tried to dash away from the place but my feet just wouldn't budge. It stayed steadfast and rooted to the ground.

    At that instant, I saw the lightning strike the branch hanging just above my head. Creakkkkkkk.

    And I woke up.

    I asked myself, can someone die in their dreams and die in real life too?

    Like you dream of that and dream that you get a heart attack, maybe in real life you'll get one too?

    Cause its the same as crying or talking or shouting in one's sleep. When you wake up, you can actually feel the tears on the side on your face.

    Hmm..

    End of bedtime story.

    5.15am - off to bed.




    4:01 AM

    Everyday I'm learning new stuff.

    Today I learnt the most important lesson of all.




    Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 1:48 PM
    Things Change

    Woke up today..
    did the usual stuffs.

    Than i decided to change my mode of traveling to school.
    Instead of the usual 28 than 51 or 7 bus route, I took the 291 mrt than walk route.

    No sooner did I change my normal routine did I realise that today ain't going to be the same.
    Reached school and Jeffrey was writing on the board with the screen displaying pictures of his recent trip to Vietnam.

    It appeared that he had a sore throat and couldn't speak. Therefore he was writing on the board to talk to us.

    I fell asleep half way through the photo sharing session and when I woke up, he was doing his own thing on the computer while the class, 9 or 10 of us, did our own things. Fandi told me that class ended already and it was only 10. I didn't believe him. Min also told me the same thing. Quite hard to believe.

    But it was true!

    Class on thursday and friday are cancelled too.

    Cause Jeffrey can't speak.

    Damn.

    I was actually looking forward to class today since its his lesson.

    Slacked in class till 12, played around with min's macbook web cam which has damn cool features.







    Than min took a video of himself with his face in proportionate, his mouth was super small and he went mummy dadddy. died of laughter there and then.

    Now I face the prospect of impromptu school holidays which I ain't looking forward to that much. I rather go school, on the bright side, i get to wake up later! Thats a plus.

    Still, there's the project to be done. Damn.




    Monday, June 09, 2008, 6:55 PM
    Project

    PROJECT PROJECT PROJECT.

    That equates to.....................................

    HEADACHE LA.

    This is bad. Nick is trouble.

    We ain't producing anything productive.

    Ok, maybe not for now.

    Its due next week.

    C'mon guys. we can do it.




    3:11 PM

    I'm glad to say that we settled our differences.

    All's well now.

    I'm happy, she's happy.

    We still have each other.

    This may be the start of something great.

    Watch this space for more. (;




    2:57 PM

    Nick
    Is
    A
    Joke
    Fullstop




    3:44 AM

    WHAT!?!

    5 DAYS?!

    Someone kill me.




    Sunday, June 08, 2008, 2:24 AM




    Job Vacancy
    Good Pay
    Description:

    Decision Maker



    I can't make the job.




    12:48 AM
    Misunderstandings

    Sometimes misunderstandings lead to quarrels.

    But can't we just settle our differences peacefully.

    I hate quarrels.

    I HATE quarrels.

    I HATE QUARRELS.

    There's the easy solution.

    There's the hard one.

    The easy solution's for those with feelings that just scrape the surface.

    The hard one's are those who are really deep in.

    I'm willing to take the hard solution.

    ARE YOU?

    You always seem so quick to react to the easy solution.

    I never mentioned that before. Not even once.

    Even when I think all is lost.

    Are you trying to tell me something with that?

    I hope not.

    I'll never give up on you.

    On us.

    Cause to me, I know we can go far.

    You're that special to me.

    I never lied to you.

    Never cheated on you.

    Never kept any secrets from you.

    Anything you ask I tell you truthfully and not censor anything out.

    I never messaged anyone constantly other than you.

    You're always my first priority.

    I'm willing to cancel anything I had planned out just to see you.

    I always think of what you want first before deciding on anything. Is that wrong?

    Can't you see that you're so important to me?

    I express my feelings to you a lot. Sometimes you don't even return it. Is it because it became taken for granted? Or was it becoming irritating? Or maybe you just didn't feel that way at that point of time.

    Should I cut down on expressing myself?

    I mean it every time I say it. Thus I say it. I don't say it for fun.

    I take us very seriously.

    But from here, right now, it looks one sided.

    Why.

    Why.

    Why.

    A million whys.

    Is there a perfect answer?

    Is that answer what I'm looking for.




    12:47 AM

    One question. Why.

    Millions of answers.

    Billions of maybes.




    Thursday, June 05, 2008, 9:28 PM

    Sometimes I feel I'm being taken for granted.




    5:23 PM

    Took this off red sports.

    It was a match summary on the demolition of Singapore by Uzbekistan. Its not related to the match though.

    Then a banner was unfurled - “Chan Marry Me”. I’ve see on television young teenage girls raise placards asking some superstar to marry them, but this? I started thinking if any of our footballers was actually named Chan. Uncle Les kindly pointed out to me that some other guy was actually proposing to his girlfriend. Navin Nambiar had taken this opportunity to propose to his girlfriend Chanderni Devi. As I ran with all my might to get the photo of them together, sentimental music sounded over the PA system. As I watched Chanderni jump with joy, I suddenly had this urge to whip out my mobile phone and make a call to that one special person (apparently she wasn’t watching the game so she didn’t know what was going on). Right here before me was an example of the crazy things Singaporeans were capable of doing.

    WTF. Its like straight out of a american movie where the guy uses the baseball match to propose. The things people do for love.

    Which would you choose?

    To be loved, or to love.

    The joys of being loved is beyond words to express.

    The feeling of loving someone takes one's own breath away.

    Whats your stance.




    3:36 PM

    I'm bored.

    Its 3.36pm on a thursday and I'm home doing nothing.

    ok. now its 3.37pm.

    I think I'm getting the hang of marketing.

    not the market market where people buy fish, pork, veggies, god knows what else.

    But marketing.

    I like marketing.

    Or maybe thanks to the lecturer.

    He makes lessons fun.

    Omar is getting boring.

    Sorry Omar.

    But its true.

    3.39pm.

    Hmmmmmmm..

    Bored.

    All these are random.

    Super duper random.

    3.40pm.

    Am I boring you with this time check?

    I don't care.

    I want to watch kung fu panda and laugh myself crazy in the theater.

    I bet no one wants to go with me after that declaration.

    HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YAH!!

    3.41pm.

    I feel like writing something.

    No inspiration though.

    Damn.

    I want get my driving over and done with.

    I want to drive on the roads.

    I want alot of things.

    But I ain't getting them.

    I went shopping with mahdi on monday. scoured through the whole of orchard road to find ourselves some nice things to cover ourselves with. clothes la. Walked from one end, to the other and back again. In the end, I bought 2 tops and a pair of shoes. Mah bought 1 pair of shorts and stopped there.

    4.10pm.

    I was side tracking just now.

    But I'm still bored.




    Monday, June 02, 2008, 3:11 AM

    I just took a look at the date.

    2nd June.

    We're 2 days into a new month.

    And I still think its May.

    I'm lagging real bad.

    Oh wells.

    *turns the page of calendar in brain*

    Done.




    Sunday, June 01, 2008, 11:41 PM

    I need a job. Anyone wanna hire me?
    wuahahaha..